50 by 50 - a ridiculous riddle

2021 Oct: Durga Puja was round the corner. The magic of spring was touching the bare branches with sparkles of lives. It did not leave me unruffled; I slipped into my slippers and walked into my local mall for a haircut. The hairdresser did a decent job. I hopped off the high chair, quite pleased with my new look, and strolled back home. I was only titivating my hair to weigh my new look when a few white strands started playing peek-a-boo. How gross!

Squinting and rolling eyes in a desperate attempt to extricate and eliminate a single silver strand from a slew of semi-brown bunch started hurting my eyes in no time. I tried to placate my querulous mind iterating nobody can impede the inexorable ageing process - it's natural for hair to turn brown and eventually silvery as the relentless time ticks away; it's natural to lose teeth as the count of birthdays go up; and it's absolutely natural to gain turkey fat or look tubby with every passing winter. But my mind, stubborn as it is, wouldn't budge - thus it set up a goal of 50 by 50 - 50 Kg by the age of 50! That was the one, apparently feasible compared to bringing back lost tooth or black hair.

Not that it was extremely difficult to achieve - just 3 kilos to lose in 3 years! But those kilos were as obstinate, if not more, as their opponent on the other side of the rope in this tug of war - the mind. To add to that, my path was interspersed by winters! How could that be an impediment, one may wonder. Remember the sums on monkey climbing up an oily pole trying to reach the top while slipping down every time it went up or a swimmer trying to reach a point upstream being thrust back by current? Well, they still had some advantages - the monkey somehow scrambled to climb a bit more than the height it lost, the swimmer's speed was invariably slightly more than the stream's; thus they managed to get to their goals. But I wasn't a pawn of some insane mathematician, I was real and so was my mass and so were my obstacles. With the onset of each winter all my perseverance goes for a toss and I semi-hibernate, thus walking into summer a couple of kilos heavier - more gains than losses. At this rate, no matter how one calculates, my goal would be deemed unachievable. 

Yet my intrepid mind decided to give it a go. My way forward was fraught with obstacles more dangerous than winter - oil and saturated fat, whinging at the thought of walk or exercise, and irregular sleep times. To counteract, my steadfast mind eschewed the allure of chips, fries, Maggie - my greatest weaknesses; it coerced me to exercise at a regular cadence - a purgatory for me; and cajoled me to improve my sleep patterns - somewhere in between early bird and night owl. But those unyielding 3 kilos put up a formidable fight! 

2022 Oct: By the end of first year, I lost one precious kilo upon taking all the trouble of acquiring a bike, its accessories and protective gears, and cycling for an hour thrice a week - huffing and puffing like air had been sucked out of my atmosphere. The efforts paid off; way to go - it was 52 Kg by 48; 2 more kilos to lose in 2 years to be 50 by 50. Not bad, I chuckled. 

But the journey wasn't a walk in the park. There were dynamic game-changing hindrances that popped up here and there as if to spice up the insipid tug-of-war game. Thus, if I thought what with an innocuous and much-awaited parents' visit, I couldn't have been more wrong. Happily chomping on vadas (deep-fried crushed lentil dollops), pakorhas (deep fried potato dipped in flour-water mix), gulping innumerable cups of sugary tea - all served with love and care before even asked for - how helful does that sound? What soul, however wilful, could look away from such epicurean delights when they are starved of such delicacies most of the time? 

2023 Oct: Consequences weren't forgiving and the scale tipped to 54.6 Kg in few weeks. Another 6 months of arduous walking, yoga, and renunciation of fried-foods later, I was relieved to see 50.3 twinkling on the weighing scale window when I was almost 49. There, there, flexing my little bumps on biceps, I smiled in admiration at my resolution. All I need is to keep doing what I was doing - and I'd soon be 50 by 50.

As if that wasn't enough challenging - keep doing what I was doing, we got our new gigantic (metaphorically) showstopper - Toyota RAV4 squarely at this crucial juncture of my 3-year roadmap! By the time I completed the first quarter of my ultimate year to half-century with the car at my beck and call, I was back to square one - lose 3 Kg to be 50 by 50 and this time in mere months - the SUV had not only been instrumental in putting on more kilos but also it had successfully screeched its fool-proof brakes on my weight-loss journey. What's the point of losing 5 to 6 kilos to circle back to the same sticky spot, a resigned tone snuffed any smouldering embers of urge. 

2024 Oct: Little wonder, I put a kibosh on my goal and switched off all the fans stoking my weight-loss flame. Cracks in my resolution were overtly visible and I no more dithered to gorge on my favourite fried food - scrumptious provender of Calcutta Kathi Rolls and O'Yara! Those extra kilos had the last laugh as I told my mind off and chained it to where it belonged, adding with a look of contempt, 'I'm not tilting at windmill anymore; stop lamenting and start accepting changes - make it your mantra.' 

Quelling my mind's absurd clamour meant allowing the excess weight quite a lax time - 53 Kg by 53, be it! Under extenuating circumstances if I missed that, I needn't fret on my failure as there are ample opportunities ahead -  60 by 60, 70 by 70, and so on! 😅

If mind and mass emoted, they'd look somewhat like this: mind on the left - dejected, mass on the right - effulgent. Deal with it mind, my sincere commiserations to you! Congratulations my precious extras - you've won the game hands down! Who can beat the one always ahead in the league since birth - 3 Kg at 0. 

And reading this, my spouse remarked, 'Huh, I'm way ahead of you in the game - covered for 80+ by 80+.' Now what can possibly outdo that unassailable score!

Dona, Sydney

Note Below:

Hilarious trouble apart, I'll strive to not let my weight spiral out of control as excess weight is linked to a panoply of chronic diseases. My focus is to elude the cruel talons of chronic age-related ailments for as long as possible. Not to mention my mini wardrobe and little repertoire of asanas I can pull off - I can't afford to lovingly resign these for my love handles!

Magic capture: This fleeting perfectly round number on 23rd Dec 2023 during my writing journey deserves a special place as it not only underpins the theme of this post but also doesn't pop up everyday without the trailing decimal! 😄

Dona, Sydney, '21 to '24